Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
电影节奏和画面语言确实有很大问题，但真诚胜过了一切。女性视角下一切都太美好，女人美好，男人也都可可爱爱的，没有任何令人不适和被冒犯的情节。尤其喜欢陈赫那个角色，不会再开肥胖梗的玩笑，即使躲雨挤成那样，他也看到了你有趣美丽的灵魂。贾玲真是超级无敌大可爱！
那些记忆，不仅是贾玲的，而是所有人的。真实的孕育情感在电影里，以自身做衣，给他人做梦。
挺好的。所有俗梗都找到了合理的情感位置，真诚得让人无话可说，虽然是简单的段子编排，但这也是一生只有一次的作品。
是很多导演一辈子也没法用学院派或旁逸斜出的技法与才情堆砌出的一部电影。挺俄罗斯文学的。我们心中都沉睡着浪费妈妈一生时光的愧疚，不配感，和很难言说的侥幸。耶稣是神化的圣子，而玛利亚却是近在咫尺的普普通通的母亲。
口罩真是太好用了，活活哭湿了一整个。我发现全世界的妈妈都太好哭了，不论是印度的《神秘巨星》还是日本的《垫底辣妹》，当她们的妈妈与贾晓铃的妈妈一样说出那句“我的孩子健康快乐就行”的时候，就是人们眼泪决堤的时刻，可在这个时刻里哭泣的不只是“子欲养而亲不待”的贾晓玲，影院黑暗的角落里还有无数个“需要赚更多钱才能尽孝”的樊胜美们，她们哭得更心酸更复杂，哭妈妈也哭自己。
真情实感的搞笑治愈家庭片，适合带家人一起看。从小品到电影，筹备这么多年，可以看出贾玲对母亲用情有多深。电影比小品剧情更丰富，也更能放大演员的表演，影片能打动观众，是因为演员们做到了“真”。沈腾用自己的演出诠释“少即是多”的道理，和舞台剧相比他很善于在大银幕上收着演。
我收回之前的怀疑：因为，真心给自己母亲拍一部电影，顺便拿几十亿票房这件事太牛逼了，真的。
对于贾玲来说已经很好了，但对于电影本身来说，还是略显粗糙，也许是因为年代久远的关系吧！
小时候睡不着，最爱乱想的主题就是妈死了怎么办，越想越难过，有一天妈拆枕套准备去洗时，发现枕芯一大片泪渍。
走出影院泪流满面，没想到让我哭得最凶的居然是春节档唯一的喜剧片。整部电影情感起伏非常强烈，笑点与泪点齐飞，尤其比较感性的观众，根本招架不住影片结尾那个堪称催泪绝杀的反转情节。这也是为什么这部电影绝对绝对不能剧透，因为毫无防备的情感爆点力量才最强大，前半段笑得有多狠，后半段哭得就有多凶。 《你好，李焕英》优秀得完全不像一部非科班出身导演的处女作，贾玲用自己对母亲李焕英的一腔真情，泣写了这样一首献给天下母亲的赞歌。它精准地击中了中国观众的情感点，描绘出了一代人心中独有的八十年代，更打动了人人都有的母亲情结。别的不说，春节档如果带家人一起来电影院，这部电影绝对是最合适的选择。
我很喜欢贾玲，希望贾玲幸福，但她仿佛和我一样，都没有从丧失至亲的悲痛中走出来。所以结局悲大于喜，沉痛大于超脱。希望贾玲通过这次的创作，能完成自我救赎，然后不要再焦虑，不再因为焦虑而猛吃，然后健康的范围内胖嘟嘟，成家立业，有爱人和孩子，迈向幸福而遥远的未来……
一开始不太想去，后面看评论还不错，打算带妈妈一起去，结果朋友约着就今天情人节凑了个热闹。路上特别堵车差点没赶上。
用作品疗愈自己的人，你想让她赚钱。影评人也许会总结各种技术短板，但掏心掏肺永远胜过机关算尽。女性视角的凝望真是温柔动人。春晚的贾玲肯定是被绑架了。
段子有点小品有点割裂，但妈真的买过第一台电视，真的打过排球，能把这些融进来，还是很用心了，真诚应该打败鸡贼吧
全程出戏，被「让自己年轻时的母亲嫁大款」
两星给比想象中好的完整性和情节设置。这的确是女性拍女性的作品，但内容跟女性没有半点关系。拍母亲的题材完全可以拍得更深入，可以融入更多的时代、家庭元素来勾勒母职角色的社会处境。但这部电影仅仅止步于“妈妈再爱我一次”，也就只能是个贺岁档合家欢无脑片了。
情感充沛，技法稚嫩。贾玲太过想把自己内心的情感呈现给观众了，以至于全片在喜剧这个层面的表现都很是乏善可陈的，这可能是沈腾演过最不好笑的一部电影了，这种悲情向一边倒的安排在我看来是不可接受的
3.7星。完成度颇高的导演处女作。1.贾玲打破了内地喜剧演员的导演处女作必扑街的魔咒。2.每个演员都展现了自己的喜剧实力，包括路人缘散尽的陈赫，好笑真诚不油腻，自带观众缘的沈腾浑身是戏。3.“打我们有记忆起，妈妈就是中年妇女的样子”这句非常抓人，击中观众心坎。4.笑点密集煽情适中节奏顺畅，最后的反转收割一波眼泪，这是贾玲送给妈妈最好的礼物。5.哪个妈妈科普下，9斤8两的新生儿大概是什么概念？6.有一句关于1和0的台词出现，全场响起一片女性观众的笑声，这是腐女的盛世。7.从演员阵容你就看得出，贾玲人缘挺好的。
可以感受到贾玲的真心，贾玲的处女作是及格的。但是，剧情真的很常见，没有讲出新意。电影的立意也不高，贾玲穿越回去想让妈妈过上更好的生活，竟然是想通过嫁给厂长儿子这种方式……最后的反转是很感人，我也看哭了，但是一直强调妈妈的付出真的好吗？妈妈就不能做一回自己吗？我希望妈妈能从母亲这个角色中解脱出来，先做自己，再做母亲，不做母亲也没有关系的。中国母亲被社会压迫太久了，不要再为家庭为子女付出所有，甚至牺牲自己。无私奉献太久，再加上整个社会都不允许母亲寻找自我，势必会希望从子女身上得到回报，也就是想要子女有出息，子女也会感到窒息，恶性循环无穷尽矣。希望以后多点母亲活出自我的电影吧，母亲只是一个身份，而不是被定义的角色。
笑惨了也哭惨了…这种感动对留学狗来说太致命了…
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